Monday, December 24, 2007

Berry Christmas

We wish all our friends and readers of S.C.O.F.F. a Very vEry meRry merRy Christmas Christmas. Thank you for all the anonymous support & comments over the past year. A big thank you to all those who read our tripe. Hope to see you guys in the coming year too.

Lots of love
---FOS, EW & MM

Monday, December 17, 2007

The 8th of December

I will remember this day for enternity. Not only was it Morrison's b'day, but it also marked the begining of a wedded life for my friend Gleeson, who was a founding member of our school group that we proudly and bemusingly called 'OCG' or the Original Chill Group.

The birth anniversary or even the marriage are not the reasons why I'll remember the night. It is because of the incidents that occured after the reception. Below is an account of the evening and the ghastly events that followed the evening.

17:00 hrs: Mom urges me not to take the bike out as I was immaculately dressed in my only suit. But obstinate as I am, I just refused to heed and left for Rydels (another of the founding members of the OCG) place. The idea was to meet up and leave for the venue of the reception to help decorate and lay down the table pieces/give aways. It also meant skipping mass. Rydel & Savio were waiting for me in Rydel's car.

18:00 hrs: Reach the venue; Rydel, Sav and me set the entire thing up, covering around 100 tables and cursed the people who we were supposed to supervise for not arriving at all.

19:00 hrs: Congratulations all around as Gleeson arrives with his wife. He commends our efforts and tells me to hit the bar right away as a sign of gratitude.

00:30 hrs: Marriage has surpassed everyones expectations and I'm 6 pegs down. People (read friends from school) are discussing the expenses involved and the cost of marriages these days. I blame inflation and the governmant but no ones listening to me. We leave the place after bidding Gleeson adieu.

00:45 hrs: Reach malad in record time and people call it a night. Savio, who did not get his bike along requests me to drop him to his place.

01:00 hrs: We reach Savio's building and I have this dying urge to smoke the last ciggarette that's lying in my pocket. I ask Savio to wait till I finish and he obliges, discussing his life on the ship. We are joined by two more of our friends who incidently work with Savio on the same ship. These guys were riding on a beautifully done up bullet.

01:30 hrs: We were rudely interrupted by 3 guys who were just a few paces behind us, enjoying a drink inside the building. They wanted us to SHUT UP. We just ignored them but the persistent bastards came back to announce that we were making too much noise and the folks in the society are getting disturbed. Savio calmly tells them that he will handle the complaints if any. But the persistent twats continue arguing and started swearing at Savio, his mom, his sister and his entire family. An infuriated Savio showed the quickest of hands by socking one guy on the face. This marked the wierdest reaction from the other two of his cronies. They picked up bamboo sticks and attacked Savio. So here starts a one-on-three kinda situation- something that i detest. A blow from the stick on Savio's nose (which broke and statred to bleed profusely) brought me into action. I jumped into the fight inorder to help calm the situation, rescue Savio and if possible 'haat-saaf' on a couple of them atleast. But as I was entering, I get a strong blow on my hand, my magnificently carved triceps.

01:35 hrs: Watchamn of the building hands me my phone and my keys. All I remember is that I'm being carried towards my bike. The watchman hands me a bottle of water to drink from, i take a sip but I can't swallow. I spit out some wierd red coloured liquid. It took me a second to realize that the liquid was nothing but my blood. I wipe my face and my hands are bloody. I take a good look at myself and I see that my shirt is red, my suit and my tie are soaked with blood. I'm pissed....absolutely fuckin' pissed. I then start questioning myself (survival tricks learnt in manipal & from the movies) "What's your name?", "Where do you stay?", "How did you get here?" etc. I did get most of the answers riht and then the trauma kicked in

01:36 hrs: I scream out to Savio, "What the fuck happened?" No response, Savio is on the phone. One of the friends (the guys on the bullet) comes running back screaming that the guys who hit us have caught an auto and escaped. I'm even more pissed. "What happened to me?" I ask. "Dude, they hit you on the head and you passed out." says one of them. I'm red now, not because my face is all bloody, it was plain ire. "What the fuck were you guys doin - watching?" I screamed as loud as I could. But it was all over.

01:37 hrs: I'm on my bike, washing my face and the back of my head. I can feel the lumps that have formed and I'm only thinking of vengeance. No one had ever drawn my blood before and I wasn't going to let these guys off lightly for being the first to do so.

01:40 hrs: Two cars come to a screeching halt. Our friends had arrived with batons, rods and whatever and whoever they could find. But like I said earlier it was a wasted effort. The cunts had already escaped.

01:45 hrs: I tell the guys that I want to go to the hospital. We take a detour to the cop station, give an account of what happened and then leave for the govt. hospital thats close by.

02:00 hrs: Puke out of the car.

02:05 hrs: Reach the hospital, vomit again. Start abusing on the top of my voice. One doc comes out and asks me to shut the fuck up, but agrees to take a look at me first. Injuries on the top of my head, stitches required at the back of my head, bruises on my nose, above the right eyebrow and below the right eye. The doc then asks me the mandatory questions like "Can you see?", "Can you hear me?" etc. I mumble my affirmation when all I wanted to tell him was get on with it. I hate doctors and despise hospitals which is not new if you are an engineering student from Manipal and had to go to KMC for any god damn treatment, only to be tended by students who look at you as some sort of guinea pig. I wasn't going to be this guys experiment. He direts me towards the treatment room and then asks me to get an X-ray done.

02:07 hrs: A lady calls me in and threatens me with a razor. All she wanted was to shave patches off my head so that only the wound is exposed. I kick up a fuss, even threaten to walk out. I love my locks too much and I'd rather die than have them touched, forget chopped. The doc intervened a second time, and told me that he will throw me out which would mean that we will not get a report to file (it was really important that we get a report from these guys to file a case)and my friends cajoled me into getting my tresses cut.

02:10 hrs: I'm all patched up.

02:15 hrs: X-ray of the head (front and side profile) taken.

02:30 hrs: X-ray shown to the doc, who says everything is normal but I'll have to wait for the nuero-surgeon. In the meanwhile, the nurse injects me with a tetanus shot.

02:40 hrs: Nuero-surgeon arrives and the same questions are repeated. I answer all of them and then he tells me that nothing can be said till I get a C.T. scan done, for which I'll have to be admitted. I refused to spend the night in that forsaken place and told them that I'm willing to do it someplace else. They asked me to sign the same mundane shit that they will not be responsible for anything that happens further and I'm on my own. I gladly and readily obliged. Oh yeah! Savio was patched up too and started joking about the fact that I didn't want to get my head shaved. I reminded him that with hair as beautiful as mine, I'd kill anyone before they got close. I thought he saw the seriousness in my face before shutting the fuck up but I looked really scary after being patched up.

02:45 hrs: We are back in the car and travelling back to the spot of the incident. I puke again.

03:00 hrs: Reach Savio's building. Now theres a crowd of 25 odd people. Everyone came one by one to ask how I was doing. The same joke of how I refused to get my hair chopped off was circulating around. Someone offers me a beer, I refuse. A ciggarette is shoved close to my face, I refuse again. Everyone's astonished.

03:30 hrs: We go the cops again with the findings of the govt hospital. He takes a look at it, then looks at me (I'm groggy and sore), then turns to Savio and announces, "This is a half-murder case." That was music to my ears, even though I was never in doubt (EW had a similar case on him - like I said in my previous post, I'm supposed to ask him to write his account on that). Since the guys who beat the shit out of me (I hate saying this as it's deflating to the ego) were hiding, we went to their houses and put their fathers behind bars in order to get their sons out. The cop then advised me to get the C.T. scan done as asked by the docs back at the hospital.

04:00 hrs: Head home with Rydel to inform my folks about the incident and to get some cash for the scan. Mom's worried, paranoid and a few other mixed emotions that are expected in this kind of situation. After reassuring her that it wasn't my fault, I'm not the one who will be put behind bars and that I'm hurt and need a scan to confirm that nothing's wrong with my brain (This part is a little lost to my friends who still tease me about not having anything inside)

04:30 hrs: After roaming most of my area in search of hospitals/clinics that have a C.T Scan facility, we finally came across one that was thankfully open 24/7. Entered the place and demanded that I'd be scanned. The guy was very helpful and put me under the scanner. The doctor arrived and announces a few minutes later that nothing was wrong with the insides but I have a hair line fracture just above my right eyebrow. Some consolation! Anyways we spent an hour there before jumping into the car that was to take us home.

05:30 hrs: While in the car we get a call from the cops telling us that the three guys have surrendered and their dads have been sent home. "Now!" I thought to my self "The fun's gonna start now." We reached the station and Gavin and Rydel literally pounced on those guys. Some cop at the station intervened and threatened to put these guys behind too. That stopped everyone and I could sense the fear in the culprits. In the meanwhile we got news that these guys and their family have bribed some other cop to intervene on their behalf and persuade us to not file any case. But I refused to budge, I wanted to file a case and teach these motherfuckers a lesson. Luckily for us we had the 'pehchaan' of a top cop in Mumbai so the bad cop (the one on their side) didn't have any say in the matter. This was a cue for the father of one of guys to start pleading their case. He tried, moving from one to another, to whoever was willing to listen, begging us to show mercy towards his sons. After some point I couldn't take his ranting and screamed back at him in total bollywoodish style. I asked him to replenish the blood I had lost, Get rid of my hair line fracture then and there, then and only then will I not file a case against the kids. This finally shut the father. The cops finally decided to file a F.I.R. against the trio after much haggling.

that's me all patched up (Concentrate on the bruised parts and not on the double/triple chins. This New Year's resolution is to add exercise in my hectic schedule)

We finally finished by 9 in the morning and I left the rest of the gang to just rest. I dunno when I fell alseep but it seemed quite long marred by gorry images of me dripping blood and getting beaten up all over again for a sillier reason.

The sad part was that I didn't wake to anything better. Arsenal lost to Boro that evening. Crap! It just couldn't get crappier.

I don't even know what to think about now that three weeks have gone by and my scars are turning darker and making me look sexier (ha! I wish!). All I can blame is the karma police. Maybe I did somethng horribly wrong to deserve this kind of treatment. But anyways I'm thankful to the force above that I wasn't crippled for life or paralyzed or anything in between. Also like my mom keeps remiding me, I should listen to them once in a while. If I hadn't taken the bike, I wouldn't have dropped Savio to his place and I wouldn't have got hammered by those guys. 'Ifs' and 'buts' don't matter at the end. I have no remorse regarding that fateful night but I'll make sure that the guys who beat me up will regret their actions for the rest of their lives.

(From l to r) Savio & me celebrating the first week anniversary of the fight at a friends bachelor party at Aksa.