My choice is what choose to do, and if I'm causing no harm, it shouldn't bother you.
Your choice is who you choose to be, and if you're causin' no harm, then you're alright with me.
Herb is a gift from the earth, make no mistake! it's an almighty blessing, planted to take.
You don't like my fire, then don't come around, 'cause I'm gonna burn one down. Yes, I'm gonna burn one down.
We are the S.C.O.F.F, of earth we smell. Read along, join our trip and revel!!
Ok, this post is nothing like the title suggests. I was in Manipal a few days ago (I would like no questions as to why I was there - Judging by recent traffic at this site, I'm thinking there will be none.) and I drew this in a stoned frame of mind. I was remembering all the good times we had in the place as well as the bad. And just like thoughts are never stagnant when we are stoned, I started thinking about my dad and his constant complaint - I have a lot of friends. So here it is, my dear readers:
Oh yeah! Click on the image for an enlarged view.
Planning on making a short Flash animation on this with some audio. Obviously you guys will be the first to know.
Ha ha! I was wrong about the fact that no one reads the blog. Apparently I (we) have our very own Cyber Stalker. Details and huge write-up later. Promise! ;)
Well, yes the heading is true. It's not that I'm abandoning ship but I have got a chance, albeit a non paying one, to write for a start-up sports blog. How did this happen? You see, as soon as I come to work, I open a football site and read through all the content for the day till lunch (My fears of the IT dept. reading this are creeping up again) then I read through whatever was said about Arsenal FC anywhere in the world for a few hours after lunch. I start my work or Alt-Tab only after that. This was or rather is still noticed by all and sundry. One of my co-workers just walked up to me and asked me if I was so interested in football that all that he could see on my screen at any given point of time was football or Aresenal. I gave him the look of "You think!" and continued reading till he asked me if I would be interested in writing for a blog on sports. That's when I had his total attention. And hopefully the adage 'Rest is history' comes true in this case.
In total e-learning style: Clickhereto view my first post. You can also get to the blog via the "We Recommend" gadget on the right of the page.
Do leave comments and let me know what you think of it. I couldn't get a username of choice so it's my real name there. Don't malign me (I know you guys can't, so don't even try). Happy reading!
I promised a post in my previous write-up after the Mangalore trip. Unfortunately it didn't happen and that's not what this post is about. This post tries to give our dear friends who read this blog a sneak peek into what's happening in our colourful world. As for the no regular updates, blame the IT department in my office for that. Blogs of all kinds are blocked. God knows why but this is another thing that I have learnt to accept and move on. And talking about the office, I have been promoted to one level higher in my department with a pay hike that resembles the bowl of peanuts that are given free with the alcohol I order in my local bar. And I hear that peanuts are bad for health. Harbingers of cholesterol, that's what peanuts are. If that's so, my company is definitely hatching a rather heinous plot to either kill me or offload me. I hope its the latter.
Talking about heinous plots, Miracle Monger and his friend had fate turn against them. They got kicked out of a strip club. Yes! you read correctly, stop rubbing your eyes. They got booted out of a STRIP CLUB. Now, who in their sane or even most inane mind will ever get booted out of a strip club and be asked never to return? Well, MM and his friend not only managed that but they survived to proudly tell the tale. I am not disclosing how they got kicked out. It is for you to flood his inbox, his wall on facebook and find out how.
In other news, our very dear friend Leo, whisked in from Australia and whisked out back there faster than even Phantom's eyes could see. We met up a number of times and got drunk and stoned then drunk and stoned again. I remember this particularly rainy evening where thanks to Medha's intervention, I went in to a puking fit. It all started when she mistook my glass, half filled with Black Label, as the ash-tray. I mistook my half filled glass of Black Label that was used as an ash-tray as my half filled glass of Black Label and took a sip. Thank God it was a sip and not a swig, but before I could realise, that sip was down my throat and into my belly, then in my blood and then in to my brain. The reverse process was the one that was painful. A few of the forward steps were skipped. My brain just whispered to my stomach which in turn filled my mouth, which in turn spoke quite vehemently to the loo. After that there was no stoning or drinking for me. I was recuperating for the next two days, even the sight of clear drinking water was bringing back memories of that dreaded night and more.
OK! Dominic and I will be coming to Bhramavara for Loo's wedding. We are leaving on the 12th by train and will be leaving back on Monday. Unlike our last trip, we will be there much longer and much more sober. Minni's wedding passed in a blur. We (that's EW and I) started drinking as soon as we got into the bus here in Mumbai, we couldn't drink in Mangalore as it was a dry-day so we stoned the entire morning till we got our hands on some alcohol, and then we continued stoning and drinking till we reached back to Mumbai. Of course! We did meet Minni. For 15 minutes each on Saturday and Sunday respectively. You must have seen our facebook pics. This time, I have Dominic for company so I won't miss my Mom at all and I'll definitely be more sober this time. Let me take this opportunity to invite you guys for the wedding too. I'm not sure how Loo will react but I'd be mighty pleased if some of you could make it.
I'll upload a few pics here as I feel a lot safer here than on facebook and you guys will see how Leo and Dal and the rest look like. I shall now take your leave as this Quick Update has taken a lot more off me than anticipated. See you guys in a few months!
I'll be going to Mangalore for Minni's (a.k.a Short Prick) wedding. Will update with a post and photographs once I'm back. If any of you guys are around don't forget to look me up. I'll be reaching Mangalore on 16th of May.
Regards, FOS
Some Pics from that trip: EW just after the first J: I just love hideki Bhajji and us at a river bank somewhere on the outskirts of Mangalore Our trusty transport Minni and Ashwija at their ring ceremony: Notice the Singh is King outfit The Stoned Trio Me before going for Minnis wedding The Happy couple after exchanging their vows
We have been accused of reminiscing too much about our Manipal days. These days when people who are much younger and much more fortunate than us keep saying "Ahh...those were the days!" I say why not we. Why can't me (find me in that pic) and EW (he has lost a lot of hair but is still recognizable)? huh?
Fuck off world! We were much better off there. No worry bout the future. Money would always come at the end of the month or in between depending on the requirement or how broke you were. We could just lie on our backs the whole day, not bothered where the next meal would come from. The beaches were just 13 km away. The mountains were around 30 km away. There were different sun set points to choose from. We could see stars in the night! WE could just lie in the middle of the road at peacock point without a blanket or a pillow. We had access to best weed from across the globe. WE could make fun off or be made fun off without giving a damn about the other persons feelings because we were sure that we had none!
All this from one pic of our first year engg days? Wish there was a tear in my eye? Sorry to disaapoint the readers but that place has made us emotionally void in a way. We no longer feel anger, jealousy, but there is a deep rooted resentment for the way society functions. The dog eat dog world, the rat race that we unwillingly entered or the competition that I don't want to participate in.
Try and identify EW or me in that snap. We no longer look the same, maybe we still have that sparkle, that mischief in our eyes but this world will slowly take that way too. Sad!
The next time I hear another "Ahh...those were the days!" I will puke.
This year's trip to Goa was absolutely mellow, surreal and serene. I wasn't sober though. I had vowed to never do chemicals again and I could keep this promise made to myself only because of the fuckin' terrorists. Something good did come out of those attacks, I guess, depending on how you choose to look at it. I still see the world from a wierd 90 degree angle. The one that you get with a strained neck. Anyways Goa, due to the attacks on Mumbai, was on high alert and due to that the tourism industry out there saw a dearth of tourists. Which again translated well for me. Me and a couple of friends were the only people in most of the off beat shacks that we visited.
I stayed there for free (A first for me). Didn't get wasted (Again a first). Didn't attend a rave (Another first). Actually there weren't any because of the lack of firangs travelling to India. And I was in Goa for five days (definately a first). And I rode the water scooter, which I must say was nothing short of exhilarating and I was screaming like a girl throughout the ride. I can hear EW say that I always scream or rather behave like a girl, but what can I say ride the scooter and see for yourself.
Since nothing untoward, extraordinary, adventerous or anything remotley funny happened there, I have nothing to write about. So go through the pics below and leave no comments. We are used to that by now.
The pics were clicked when we were at Palolem, which according to me is a pristine beach. It was kind of crowded, albeit with pale skins, but the beach was extremely beautiful.
And yeah, I am seeking funds for a new DSLR. Contact me and I will provide my pay pal details.
EW, Al, Setore and I are planning on visiting Goa in March once again and hopefully that trip will be eventful and will have something to write about.
First of all I would like to wish you guys a very happy new year. Hope it was rocking, smoking and extremely drunk *boilk!*. I had a nice one and I hope this new year brings you and your family peace. Yes! peace. Something that we take for granted. I want peace at home, then in my neighbourhood, at the signal that leads to the highway. Peace at work, in the pub that I frequent and most importantly in the fuckin' world.
The fag end of 2008 was disturbing to say the least for us Mumbaikars. Actually wait! 2008 as a whole was infuriating. First, the nephew of the soil held us ransom by opening his trap and that led to his arrest, the death of some bihari, Mumbai bandh, etc. Then we had 10 pakis that came in, holed up in the Taj and Trident. They went on to mercilessly execute the guests staying there and the pride of our special forces took three fuckin' days to kick their butts to hell. We as a city got pissed, tied black bands around our arms to show our protest, held rallies, candle marches, solidarity meetings, asked for the guilty (from among our own) to step down. Two months down the line, very few of us actually remember that something like 26/11 took place. Blasts and now gun weilding men have become a part of our lives. So, what is it that we can do?
I am going to stop cribbing about the state of things and will do something about it. I have decided on printing out newsletters before elections that will describe all the candidates that will go on to represent my constituency in detail (I will require help for that, so all donations are welcome ;)). I have also decided to vote. I'm going to invoke the Rule 49-O if I feel that all the candidates are not worthy enough to represent me in the parliament. I will not pay bribes to get any of my official work done or get out of trouble. Even if that means parting with three grand and/or spending a night in jail because of drunken driving. Before any of you advise me I know that one way to avoid that would be not to drink and ride but then we are not living in Utopia, are we?
My next resolution is to do whatever I feel. I am going to the Himalayas, the Far-East and to New Mumbai. Travel by train, plane and my bike to most of these places. Plans are not just going to remain plans but will finally materialize into something substantial. Inshallah!
The next one is to complete my animation that is factually based on EW's life. The trails and tribulations that he went through as a kid and is still going through. There will be a lengthy scene on his lack of hair and the reasons for it. Watch this space. I also want to rehash a Dylan song or maybe just shoot a video for 'Masters of War'. I'm sure EW will help me out on that one. But he is kinda coy about posing for the animation. A little moral support will do, so please voice out that you want to see him in the animation.
The last one and most important one is to write and update S.C.O.F.F. regulalry. The reason why nothing was posted, other than me growing in to a fat lazy bastard, was that this site was blocked in the office and I do nothing in terms of uncreative thinkging on Saturdays and Sundays. EW has his won reasons. He was watching his hair grow all this while.
So my friends, the exile has ended and we, at least I have come out of the doldrums. This is the year of doing!
Good day our dear readers! Let me start of by expressing how disappointed I am by the lack of comments for my previous post. No one, except two souls (EW and Shanz) appreciated the work of art that the Mallu dance turned out to be. You guys have no idea to what extents I went to make that item number absolutely hilarious. Sob! Such contempt is unwarranted. So get cracking. Read the fuckin' post, savour the images and view the videos and let me know how you felt.
Before I go ahead and let you guys in on what we have in store for the blog and our reading public, here is a little update. Miracle Monger ahem! actually I would prefer if he would call himself the Galleej King, has reached the United Kingdom and has hinted that he wishes to ramble and sing on the blog once again. So EW and I are looking forward to that and wish him a great and eventful life there. That's that for now! And to the news that eveyone was waiting for with baited breath.
Since the inception of the blog we have been posting our happenings very sporadicaly and the intention has been to increase the regularity of our tripe. So from this week or maybe next EW and I are going to take turns to blabber, ramble and dish out bullshit every week. I was always wanted to convert this site in to a daily blog, but knowing how busy we guys are in wallowing in our own laziness, it seems as distant as India winning a football World Cup. But the weekly thing should happen as Ew himself came up with this plan and I'm as committed to the cause as ever. So I guess it should work out. Fingers crossed everyone and let's hold a candle for about a minute and then light our Js with it. Seriously, I'm hoping this works or else EW's words will come true. He said that the blog is turning in to another medium of communicating with each other. I don't want that to happen, I really don't because there are times now that the two of us have nothing to talk about. So it's now time to RAMBLE ON! Leaves are fallin' all around, time I was on my way Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay but now it's time for me to go, the autumn moon lights my way for now I smell the rain, and with it, pain and it's headed my way Aw, sometimes I grow so tired but I know I've got one thing I got to do
A-ramble on, and now's the time, the time is now Sing my song, I'm goin' 'round the world
From now on my sign off is going to be until next week folks.
PS: My dear EW, it has been unanimously decided (by me of course) that the onus is on you to publish the first article of the weekly tripe. So get crackin'.
Update: For all those who came in late: Please ignore this message. For the rest, fresh pics have been added for viewing convenience and pleasure. I have promised to upload the videos and will be doing so shortly.
Regards, I think I need a change in the nick - FOS
Well, the good times are back and my office - the firm that I left for crazily beautiful greeen pastures but soon realized that the weed on the otherside was dry and didn't have any THC content and hence I came back chewing my cud- is holding it's annual party. The folks back here are buzzing with extreme activities, and no, they are not skydiving or bungee jumping or even free falling. I wish some people would bungee and I'd be standing on top of whereever they are jumping from with garden scissors just to snip that rope. But no, it's different this time. Our firm has completed five years of profitable existence and it's time to celebrate. So the people are busy practising dancing, singing, skits, etc. I, for the first time ever, am going to feature in a fashion show. Please stop hooting and wondering HOW! Yes, my beloved skeptics, it's true, I'm opening the show albeit as a drunk, but I'm an integral part of it. It's probably down to the fact that there aren't any people better looking than me, women included. *FOS smirks a bit and says to himself "I love myself!"*
Anyhoo, other than the fashion show, I'm also part of this dance routine that is more comic than EW's jokes, my humour and Raju Shrivastav. You get the picture, hopefully. No? How EW of me. View the rehearsal video here:
[[Video of the dance and fashion show will be put up after the event. Did I forget to mention that it's tomorrow? I guess I did. So folks, the events tomorrow.]]
[[Hopfully some scandalous pics will be posted here]]
Alrightie! The event went off really well and for another time in my life I was so sloshed that I lost around 24 hours of my life. Yup, 24 hours! I remember reading the time at 20:34 on Friday and I woke up not remebering a thing I was put through the next day at 1800 hours. The people back in the office have recounted what I did to them and quite frankly it's no longer embarrassing. Maybe I am used to it. But the details of the crap that I put people through will not be disclosed on this post. Sorry, you have to meet me for that.
Towards the end of the night I was supremely confident that I would reach home on my own, which I did of course, but I don't remember shit. All I remember is being in awe that the rickshaw driver knew my address to the dot and then struggling to open the door of me palace for at least 15 minutes. Then I got up only at 6 in the evening after falling asleep, well, I don't know what time. So it was *boilk* *boilk* *boilk* and some more *boilk*. The thing that happens the next day. It's called a hangover I'm told.
Anyways, Friday morning was amazing. We (read jesubahi Patel, Phil and I) were extremely funny. Here are a few pics of us on stage crooning to the La Bamba, play acting on the guitar.
After enthralling the crowd with a sublime mix of excellent guitaring and soothing vocals, we came on about two hours later to dance to the tune of 'Make Luv' by Room 5. Pics here:
For my final act of the evening, I was the Cowboy from Hell. Actually just a normal drunk cowboy. But I like to call myself the cowboy from hell for it makes me sound cool. And that's what I am, cool! Anyways I was expected to be serious and throw around attitude but the only thing I managed was a huge grin on my face. Pics follow (maybe a little later, but I promise they'll be there. I swear by the sun and the moon and the stars. They'll be there):
There'll be a video of the event distributed I'm told. Being the narcissist that I am, I will definately edit and upload the parts that I am in.
Frankly speaking, apart from the few embarrasing moments that I went through that night, it was definately a day that I enjoyed. And since I have recovered significantly (I was put off by the very mention of alcohol the whole of Sunday), I look forward to a few more good times that this firm might have to offer.
Yes! as you guys know, I wear many masks, my personal favorite being the one of kkkkkrrrriiiissshhh, as well as I harbour many hobbies. Not any normal ones I would like to clarify. I love to jump across buildings, woo strange looking women that never end up sleeping with me and damage government and Ambani property among other things. But my humble and submissive alter ego wants to be an animator and one of the first things that were required of me was to create a small show reel to collect the certificate from the institute that I did the course in and to help me get a job. Well, frankly speaking, I haven't been able to do both - A) collect the certificate: because I'm lazy and B) get a job: because my animation looks like this:
Its sad because this post will finally be pushing this post of mine to the archives. *PLease think of me saying this line in my typical mallu accent* Oh! what a great actor I am! Keeping up with the e-learning tradition, Click here to view FOS' old post.
Anyways I ain't no kkkkkrrrriiiissshhh who did not need to work or even Bruce Wayne. Basically I ain't no cunting superhero at all, so I need to work. But the latest buzz word is that a major animation studio has shut down because of lack of work. Does this mean I'll be stuck in what I am doing for the rest of my life. FUCK NO!!! It's scary and already there are nightmarish images of me chained to an obsolete comp and old and shabby - Oh wait! that's already happening here! GOD! Save me.
I'm hoping and praying and keeping fingers crossed and also working on something to better the animation that was shown above. Oh yeah! your comments, however sporadic, are welcome as I need whatever feedback I can get on how to improve this one and the ones to follow.
