Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Sorry! No Semi-Finals Preview

Due to lack of time and a huge writers block, there will be no preview of the matches. We will be back with our irregular service soon.


Quick Update: Octo-Paul has spoken (via Sahil Rizwan). He says Spain and S.C.O.F.F. says it will be Germany. What about Uruguay vs. Netherlands you ask? We think the Dutch will steam roll past hapless Uruguayans (3 - 1 in favor of the Dutch).

Monday, July 05, 2010

The Best Teams Did Win Paul.

Before we go on to preview the Semi-Finals S.C.O.F.F. style, let us (no, not give you an in-depth match report on the QF matches) check how our crystal balls have done. Unlike Paul the German Octopus, we do not have a 100% track record. What we do have is the amazing fuchsia.  

Netherlands vs Brazil
We said Brazil would win over the Dutch with 3 goals to 2. What actually happened was Netherlands beat Brazil all thanks to Wesley Sneijder’s bald head, which actually had EW jumping and casting amorous glances towards his look-alike. So Sneijder is the S.C.O.F.F. Man of the Match and the S.C.O.F.F. Moron of the Match and a huge round of applause goes to Julio Ceasar. Felippe Melo came a close second but if Cesar hadn’t effed up so badly on that cross, who knows what could have been.
Uruguay vs Ghana
The S.C.O.F.F. Man of the Match for this game is the Suarez kid. I know everyone outside Uruguay thinks he is a cheat and blah, blah. But he did what he had to do and helped his team not concede. Therefore, the S.C.O.F.F. Moron of the Match clearly is Ghana’s A. Gyan. With all his Gyan, power and finesse, all he managed was the crossbar. It’s sad that Ghana, the only African team left had to go out but with that, I can reveal the secret of my Ghanaian friend. It is EW. He holds dual citizenship thanks to his advertising contract with Fair and Handsome. He is the ‘Before’ model in India and the ‘After’ in Ghana. There you go, but DO NOT tell anyone.

Argentina vs Germany
What do I say? What can I say? At least S.C.O.F.F. picked the winner correctly. Apart from being the best game of the World Cup so far, it gave us a glimpse of the potential champions. Yes, I will tell you why in our Semi Final review. It was the best team effort I have seen in this World Cup and I have nothing but praise for the Germans.

The S.C.O.F.F. Man of the Match of the game is the Meuller guy because he did not let Maradona get to him and scored the first of the goals that stunned Argentina into submission. There are many contenders of the S.C.O.F.F. Moron of the Match and we would like to hand the award to the Argentine back four for imploding and handing the game to the Germans on a platter.

Paraguay vs Spain
I have to admit, I fell asleep during the first half of the game where the Spaniards just refused to turn up. Del Bosque’s words must have inspired them in to putting up a show in second half. Since I can’t comment much on the game I will just hand out the prestigious S.C.O.F.F. Man of the Match award to David Villa. This Barcelona bound striker is worth his salt and is carrying the weight of Spain’s attack on his shoulder.

The Semi Final Preview to come up in the next few hours. The Bharat Bandh is being enjoyed quite thoroughly and till we meet again, keep waving the flag. Ciao.    

P.S.: The best teams did win. Take that Paul, you eight-tentacled freak.