Wednesday, June 21, 2006

World Cup Updates - S.C.O.F.F. Style

It's been a rollicking start to the World Cup and I know we’ve begun this a little late but here’s to the daily world cup update coupled with the antics of the s.c.o.f.f.

*9 June*: It all begun with great anticipation. We’ve been waiting for this day for quite a long time and seriously everyone’s sick of Willy’s constant sms countdown to the WC. Anyways Germany managed a good win in an entertaining game - probably signals a lot of goals in this particular edition of the cup.

On the home front Willy’s t.v. isn’t working ( he seems flabbergasted ) and that means the boys can’t have their football parties at his place( would have been tough with his mom around ) But there’s always plan B.

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*June 10:* *England** 1-Paraguay 0*

Dominic’s been screaming out England’s praises since the end of the season back in May. We met up at IC colony to catch the match. Captain Kinni accommodated us for the day. England begun in style against a Paraguay that looked shell-shocked after a 3^rd minute own-goal by their captain. Beckham seems to have been spending as much time practicing these set pieces as on his hairstyle. Stevie G, our favorite Liverpool laddie produced a brilliant performance in defensive midfield blocking at least 4 or 5 goal bound efforts. Joe Cole tried a few step-overs and Ferdinand looked really assured while for once Beckham played better than he looked. Ashley Cole, meanwhile, looked love struck (maybe his impending marriage seems to be weighing on his mind) and managed to lose the ball in dangerous situations. Terry doesn’t seem to find pushing over international defenders as easy as he does with Chelsea and Frank Lampard looked sleepy till he decided to actually put on his boots and take a few shots at goal.

For Paraguay Santa Cruz was disappointing and their best player was Nelson Valdez (wonder if Aj’s gonna try and experiment with a similar goatee some time down the line).Overall the most boring match of the WC to date. To top it off, the English cry-babies have been complaining about the heat. C’mon guys the rest of the teams don’t play in air-conditioned stadiums. What next, the angle of the grass, the color of the goal-post???

*S.C.O.F.F man of the match-* David Beckham (I can see all the girls and Herman very happy about seeing a Beckham picture today)

*S.C.O.F.F. screw-up –* Carlos Gamarra – sorry but scoring a self-goal when you are captain doesn’t inspire confidence

*Trinidad & Tobago 0 - Sweden 0*

Upset of the cup so far. Trinidad’s come here with, what is on paper, the worst team to land at the WC till date. To top it off they lost a key defender the day before the match and lost their goalie, Kelvin Jack, during the pre-game warm-ups. But Shaka Hislop stepped in, and what a performance. Against the likes of Larsson, Ibrahimovic, Ljunberg and Willhelmsson the Trinidadians looked like schoolboys. They managed to keep getting the ball away through a mixture of luck and desperate lunges. But slowly the Swedes started getting frustrated .Even after Avery John was sent-off they just couldn’t break down the Caribbean defense. Sweden’s coach seems to have made a mistake not playing Kim Kallstrom from the start. He threw on 4 forwards at the end but unfortunately the best chances fell to Allback who really should have scored not once but twice. We look forward to the Trinidadians infuriating the star-studded English cranky-army next. (Hope Becks doesn’t mind other players having flashier hairstyles on the field)

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*S.C.O.F.F man of the match-* The whole Trinidad team really but if we had to pick one

Shaka Hislop

*S.C.O.F.F. screw-up-* Easy Marcus Allback- If you ask me Aj would have put in those chances. Aj also has a better hair-cut

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*Argentina** 2- Ivory Coast 1*

Expected to be the match of the first round and lived up to its billing. The Ivorians definitely were pumped up. Unfortunately they just seemed too intent on powering their way through. Aj, Dal n Dom were pretty drunk by now and Kinni’s place suddenly seemed more comfortable. Crespo showed he’s a master poacher and is being wasted at Chelsea with a wonderful piece of opportunism. The goal was applauded of course , but I wonder why Aj decided shouting anti-Shiv Sena slogans was appropriate at the time. The Ivorians hit back but again couldn’t seem to stop hitting people in the crowd with their attempts at goal. Saviola then converted a brilliant pass by Riquelme underlining the difference between the sides. More applause, more anti-Shiv Sena slogans and Dom’s cue to go to sleep. Admirably Drogba, who’s been everybody’s favorite punching bag, didn’t let his team give up and pulled one back but it really was too late.

*S.C.O.F.F man of the match-* There were a lot of great performances on the blue and white side but for the character and spirit he showed- Didier Drogba

*S.C.O.F.F. screw-up-* Dominic D’silva – It is not cool to ask drunk people who have slept at 3 in the morning to leave by 6-30 (hey it’s my blog, I get to write what I feel like)

*June11 *

*Holland** 1- Serbia & Montenegro 0*

Well couldn’t catch much of this game because of Herman’s weekly Sunday stoning session but Arjen Robben did light up the show. The Oranje showed just why they are one of the most exciting teams in world football with their constant interchanging of positions. Robben especially was literally all over the pitch. But there seem to be problems now since van Persie didn’t like the way Robben hogged all the limelight. He’s been complaining of how Robben would have been better if he had tried to find team-mates instead of going for goal at every given opportunity. The Dutch seem to have their famous infighting brewing again. Serbia on the other hand was just poor.

P.S. The Chelsea boys seem to be getting on the scoresheet regularly this time- Robben, Crespo, Drogba- Or is it because every single team in the WC seems to have a Chelsea player.

*S.C.O.F.F man of the match-* Arjen Robben – no discussion

*S.C.O.F.F. screw-up-* Ilija Petkovic – the Serb coach really got his tactics all wrong

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*Mexico** 3 – Iran 1*

Mexico’s expected to get through this group easily but Iran did make us Asians proud. Fighting the Mexicans tooth and nail till the end, only the second goal by Bravo finally broke the Iranian resistance. Don’t think these teams are gonna trouble the big guns, but it was an entertaining game. Can’t write much more coz my cousin was watching an Ekta Kapoor serial and I was too stoned to fight her off.

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*S.C.O.F.F man of the match*- Bravo – 2 goals -what can u say : Bravo, Bravo

*S.C.O.F.F. screw-up*- Herman for getting me stoned and Ekta Kapoor for living

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*Portugal1 - Angola 0*

Pauleta missed an opportunity to become the fastest scorer in history but made amends with a goal soon after. Angola did play much better than what I’ve heard of their previous games, when they seemed to struggle to keep all 11 people on field. Christiano Ronaldo touted to be one of the stars of the WC had a disappointing game. Luis Figo though did shut his critics with a storming display.

*S.C.O.F.F man of the match*- Figo – because we just love him

*S.C.O.F.F. screw-up*- Herman – because we just love him too

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*June 12 *

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*Australia** 3 – Japan 1*

Willy dropped a bomb on me by landing up at my office and telling me to arrange a television so that he could watch the game. It’s been always understated but in these circles, no matter what the situation, “never fear when the Dalster’s here”. We ended up in a seedy bar a stone’s throw from my office and convinced the owner to screen the match by making use of our broken Tulu. Aj too landed up soon and the match did begin to hot up with the Aussies doing most of the early running. Willy almost sunk into the ground when a mistake by the Aussie goalie, Schwarzer gave Japan the lead. They held on till the 83^rd minute by which time Australia were looking desperate. Willy for his part had just gone through all the religions in the world, trying to find the God that would listen to his pleas. Someone listened and with Tim Cahill leading the charge in an extraordinary come back by the socceroos, the Japs were left shell-shocked. Guss Hiddink proved why he is one of the best coaches in the world with 2 of his substitutes scoring. Aj and Dal played the perfect neutral supporters by supporting Japan till they led and shifting to the Aussies as soon as they made their way back. Aj n Dal also have a new hero among the Aussies Josh Kenneddyyyyyyyyy…..KKKenneddyyyyyyyyy

* S.C.O.F.F man of the match-*Tim Cahill – Initiated a sensational comeback and exemplified the never-say-die Aussie spirit.

*S.C.O.F.F. screw up-* Mark Schwarzer - Made two astonishing errors one of which led to a goal. Cahill really saved his blushes.

*Czech** Republic 3 - U.S.A. 0*

The Czech’s humiliated the U.S.A and proved they are real contenders for this WC. A goal after just 5 minutes brought American hopes crashing down. The Czech proceeded to run the Americans ragged throughout the game and made light of the fact they lost their two main strikers to injury by the end of the first half. Thomas Rosicky put up a lightning display to make all Gunners fans proud. The U.S.A. need to do a lot better if they want to convince the rest of the world they deserve their No. 5 world ranking.

*S.C.O.F.F man of the match*-Tomas Rosicky- As if a sensational strike in the first half was not enough he followed it up with another beauty to nail the Americans.

*S.C.O.F.F. screw up-* Team U.S.A.-Failed to turn up and disappointed all the fans who did. (Thought I’d put up the team photo but these chicks are sizzling hot and what a way to use a flag. Hats off ladies)

[Incase you people know why some pictures can't be uploaded please leave a comment behind as to how to rectify it. I'm feeling bad that the 2 gorgeous women can't be seen here......L.K.]

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*Italy** 2- Ghana 0*

Undoubtedly the match of the tournament so far. As expected the Ghanaians came out firing on all cylinders. But what wasn’t expected was the way Italy decided to hit them with their own sensationally refreshing football. An absolute see-saw during the first half hour with both teams creating opportunities. Luca Toni was unlucky to see one attempt crash off the cross-bar while Gyan Amoah went close for the Africans. Pirlo managed to break the deadlock with a signature strike- again underlining the affect the ball in this tournament. Ghana refused to die with Essien forcing a save. A sensational battle ensued in the mid-field between Pirlo and de Rossi for Italy, and Essien and Appiah for Ghana. Iaquinta finally punished an error to win it on the night but the Black Stars must be proud of the way they played.

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*S.C.O.F.F man of the match-*Andrea Pirlo-Scored one, created a second and though he couldn’t match the physical power of Essien, made up with his positioning and ability on the ball.

S.C.O.F.F. screw up- any moron who missed this match.

Sorry People that the updates aren't being updated. We promise to come back with day to day S.C.O.F.F analysis from the day the round of 16 begins.

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