Can I Play With The Madness

"Yeah! Sure you can! I already did!" These were the thoughts when I read a relatively small article in a leading daily on Saturday morning about the Maiden show. Fuckin' vernacs. Am I getting racist on their arse? C'mon they deserve it. Who in his sane mind will title the headline as "Can I Play With The Madness"? Just imagine singing this in a Indian accent - the one that Apu has on the Simpsons:

"Mr Simpson,
Can I play with the madness - the prophet stared at the crystal ball
Can I play with the madness - there's no vision there at all
Can I play with the madness - the prophet looked and he laughed at me
Can I play with the madness - he said you're blind, too blind to see"

Oh fuck off!! Go back to where you belong. Which I guess is the planet called *sounds just like when you spit* 'Arrrgh Ttthhuuu'

Now that it's out of my system, I would like to apologize for updating my fellow readers so late. I just lazed around during the weekend, recuperating from a stiff neck and an obvious hangover, which for the first time was not because of the alcohol. It was thanks to Iron Maiden.

I did as I had said in my previous post titled IT'S MAIDEN TIME BABY! I started stoning myself and drinking myself to death around 3.30 in the afternoon. EW had called the previous night and said that he will be making it for the show. I was a little apprehensive because I had planned to sell his pass for cheap and procure some more money to drink. But then that was not required. I was helped by a lot of people that night.

On our way to the venue, Our rickshaw comes to a halt next to another one that's ferrying two maidenheads. So here I am smoking a J in the auto and there they are rolling shit loads of J's. Our eyes meet, we show each other the corna and scream "Maiden". We reached MMRDA grounds by 6 and I ran straight to the merchandise shop. I had to get meself a tee.

We drank and smoked and waited for everyone who we were waiting for to arrive. Finally when all went silent inside, we decided it was time to enter. I was held back by the security and started creating a scene when they did not let me in with my ciggarettes. That's typical of me. The rest were psyched at me because I was hiding a joint in my shoe. But we got in without any further delays, found a not so crowded space and stood waiting for the madness et al to begin.


Then it happened folks, the moment I had been anticipating with loads of excitement for over a week, Maiden was on stage and strated with the electrifying number Aces High. Bruce's energy was sort of telepathically transmitted out to the crowd and we all went absolutely bezerk. Aces High was followed by 2 minutes to midnight and I seriously missed Miracle Monger that moment. He was the one who introduced me to Maiden's Brave New World and there was no looking back since then. I have devoured whatever they had to offer. I was there man! Absolutely and positively there. May be not in a stable state of mind but there, yes!


Aces High: Bruce dishing out the first song of the night

The trooper followed 2 minutes to midnight then they played hits like The Trooper, Run to the hills, The Clairvoyant, Rhime of the ancient mariner, Can I play with madness, Wasted years, Powerslave, Moonchild, Caught somewhere in time, Fear of the dark and ended with Hallowed be thy name. One hour and forty five minutes of bliss, headbanging and fearsome energy. I didn't let my head rest for a single minute, It was bobbing up and down through out the show. At one point I thought it would roll off. During the rendition of Moonchild or Powerslve (please forgive me, memory is all worked up. It's a wonder I can remember most of the things they sang) Eddie walked on stage, he stood around 11 to 12 feet tall. Did I mention the backdrops. Fuck it! You should have been there.


Can I play with the madness: Phil and me enjoying the madness.


The show was orgasmic: EW's face says it all. Jesu Bhai Patel came a few minutes later.


Eddie where art thou?: Let's see if you can spot him.

The After Effects: At a bar called Durga in Bandra (West)

I'm wasted as usual.

Check EW's Bubbaesque (character from Forest Gump) lower lip.

Ok yeah! I think I'll let you guys in on the backdrops. There were these insaneley trippy as well as extremely well painted backdrops that kept changing for almost every song. I'm not sure if I captured all but here goes:







There was another one but I don't have that on camera. Anyways gotta go guys! Will see ya soon!! Till then play with the madness all right!!

Just another day in the office

I hope you guys find this hilarious. I certainly enjoyed being filmed and beaten up.

And yeah! No comments about how fat I have become since you guys last saw me or how messed up my hair looks.

*ing: Jesu Bhai Patel & me
Cameraperson: Cynnocent
Audience: Wily Mallu Phil

Other than me, rest assured, no other animals were harmed while filming this video.

IT IS MAIDEN TIME BABY!!

Yeah, that's right scoffers, I'm going for it this time. After hearing Nita verbally kick me around to the point of killing me for missing them in bangalore, I have come to believe that there is a God. He must be a long haired, bearded, headbanger and an ultra-cool dude for hearing me and giving me a second chance. People like us don't deserve one but this is totally different. I sincerely wanted go to bangaloore (is that how it's spelt now?) to watch the show but then a certain important and universal criteria called money held me back. This time I made sure that I had things my way - basically free. A friend went through a lot of people to procure the passes for us. God bless her soul! All I have to do is go home sober tonight so as to not land up behind bars and wake up tomorrow. Waking up tomorrow is essential. Fuck cares! I don't fuckin think I'm sleeping tonight. I'm very excite!!!!

Sadly, EW will be missing it again. He was in Mumbai the last time they came. Now he is in Mangalooru (they haven't changed Mangalore's name, have they?). Ha Ha! I feel sorry for him. Fuck him!

So what next? Tomorrow at this time I'll be stoned and drunk and stoned and drunk and I'll do it two times over after that too. Here's to Eddie! Cheers!

Pointless Blabber

Excerpt from The Book of the Thunderbird

In the beginning there was darkness.
Then there were headlights.
On high beam.
And it was good.
Udden, udden.

GG sent me these lines about a month back. Even though I don't quite understand what 'Udden, udden' stands for, I relate with the poem. What can 'Udden, udden' mean? Fuck that. There is a certain kind of darkness that I sought to dispel by buying Baby and she does have powerful lamps and she is definately good. And it has helped. Riding nonchalantly through the roads of Mumbai have it's own up's and down's, literally and figuratively. But the looks of the eyes passing by, the knowing glances of fellow enfield owners and random conversations with strangers at traffic signals have all helped instil a kind of pride that previously was unknown to me. But there is something else that is FUCKING MY HEAD now!

GG & EW keep asking me, "When are we getting out of this place?", "When are we hitting the coast?", "When's our Jammu thing going to happen. I'm sick and fuckin'tired now, answering these questions with "I'm sure we'll do it someday, maybe next month." It leaves very acrid taste in the mouth and the brain. FUCK EW! you know. He still hasn't even got one. And since the 'No Pillion' rule is self-explanatory, he is not welcome on either my vehicle or GG's. Talking about GG, he has already ridden to these little hamlets in and around Lonavala. This has automatically given him bragging rights. And I, I have shit loads of other stuff to do-watch TV, play on my comp, try and show up at work and act like I'm working-that my personal interests have taken the backseat of the car that's behind me. Things are that bad. Just as bad as the hindi remixes that were running on MTV a few years ago.

Me being me, I'm still as desultory as I was in my younger days. So this new years, as usual I made a couple of resolutions. First one is to atleast hit some virgin beaches anlong the coast of Maharashtra. Come to think of it, I guess that's the only one. Yeah, it's the only one for this month or maybe the next one because as I'm writing this, my boss has mentioned that I'm going to be submerged in shit (read: work). There were other resolutions made like quitting smoking (just smoking, not smoking up) and drinking less, but those were broken just a few minutes into the first day of new year. Screw that. I just hope and pray to whichever God I believe in today that at this time my high beam is bright enough to guide me through. Baby are you listening?

Ciao! I'm off. Hopefully I have something better to ramble about this year. Probably that's one resolution I hope to fulfill.

Berry Christmas

We wish all our friends and readers of S.C.O.F.F. a Very vEry meRry merRy Christmas Christmas. Thank you for all the anonymous support & comments over the past year. A big thank you to all those who read our tripe. Hope to see you guys in the coming year too.



Lots of love
---FOS, EW & MM

The 8th of December

I will remember this day for enternity. Not only was it Morrison's b'day, but it also marked the begining of a wedded life for my friend Gleeson, who was a founding member of our school group that we proudly and bemusingly called 'OCG' or the Original Chill Group.

The birth anniversary or even the marriage are not the reasons why I'll remember the night. It is because of the incidents that occured after the reception. Below is an account of the evening and the ghastly events that followed the evening.

17:00 hrs: Mom urges me not to take the bike out as I was immaculately dressed in my only suit. But obstinate as I am, I just refused to heed and left for Rydels (another of the founding members of the OCG) place. The idea was to meet up and leave for the venue of the reception to help decorate and lay down the table pieces/give aways. It also meant skipping mass. Rydel & Savio were waiting for me in Rydel's car.

18:00 hrs: Reach the venue; Rydel, Sav and me set the entire thing up, covering around 100 tables and cursed the people who we were supposed to supervise for not arriving at all.

19:00 hrs: Congratulations all around as Gleeson arrives with his wife. He commends our efforts and tells me to hit the bar right away as a sign of gratitude.

00:30 hrs: Marriage has surpassed everyones expectations and I'm 6 pegs down. People (read friends from school) are discussing the expenses involved and the cost of marriages these days. I blame inflation and the governmant but no ones listening to me. We leave the place after bidding Gleeson adieu.

00:45 hrs: Reach malad in record time and people call it a night. Savio, who did not get his bike along requests me to drop him to his place.

01:00 hrs: We reach Savio's building and I have this dying urge to smoke the last ciggarette that's lying in my pocket. I ask Savio to wait till I finish and he obliges, discussing his life on the ship. We are joined by two more of our friends who incidently work with Savio on the same ship. These guys were riding on a beautifully done up bullet.

01:30 hrs: We were rudely interrupted by 3 guys who were just a few paces behind us, enjoying a drink inside the building. They wanted us to SHUT UP. We just ignored them but the persistent bastards came back to announce that we were making too much noise and the folks in the society are getting disturbed. Savio calmly tells them that he will handle the complaints if any. But the persistent twats continue arguing and started swearing at Savio, his mom, his sister and his entire family. An infuriated Savio showed the quickest of hands by socking one guy on the face. This marked the wierdest reaction from the other two of his cronies. They picked up bamboo sticks and attacked Savio. So here starts a one-on-three kinda situation- something that i detest. A blow from the stick on Savio's nose (which broke and statred to bleed profusely) brought me into action. I jumped into the fight inorder to help calm the situation, rescue Savio and if possible 'haat-saaf' on a couple of them atleast. But as I was entering, I get a strong blow on my hand, my magnificently carved triceps.

01:35 hrs: Watchamn of the building hands me my phone and my keys. All I remember is that I'm being carried towards my bike. The watchman hands me a bottle of water to drink from, i take a sip but I can't swallow. I spit out some wierd red coloured liquid. It took me a second to realize that the liquid was nothing but my blood. I wipe my face and my hands are bloody. I take a good look at myself and I see that my shirt is red, my suit and my tie are soaked with blood. I'm pissed....absolutely fuckin' pissed. I then start questioning myself (survival tricks learnt in manipal & from the movies) "What's your name?", "Where do you stay?", "How did you get here?" etc. I did get most of the answers riht and then the trauma kicked in

01:36 hrs: I scream out to Savio, "What the fuck happened?" No response, Savio is on the phone. One of the friends (the guys on the bullet) comes running back screaming that the guys who hit us have caught an auto and escaped. I'm even more pissed. "What happened to me?" I ask. "Dude, they hit you on the head and you passed out." says one of them. I'm red now, not because my face is all bloody, it was plain ire. "What the fuck were you guys doin - watching?" I screamed as loud as I could. But it was all over.

01:37 hrs: I'm on my bike, washing my face and the back of my head. I can feel the lumps that have formed and I'm only thinking of vengeance. No one had ever drawn my blood before and I wasn't going to let these guys off lightly for being the first to do so.

01:40 hrs: Two cars come to a screeching halt. Our friends had arrived with batons, rods and whatever and whoever they could find. But like I said earlier it was a wasted effort. The cunts had already escaped.

01:45 hrs: I tell the guys that I want to go to the hospital. We take a detour to the cop station, give an account of what happened and then leave for the govt. hospital thats close by.

02:00 hrs: Puke out of the car.

02:05 hrs: Reach the hospital, vomit again. Start abusing on the top of my voice. One doc comes out and asks me to shut the fuck up, but agrees to take a look at me first. Injuries on the top of my head, stitches required at the back of my head, bruises on my nose, above the right eyebrow and below the right eye. The doc then asks me the mandatory questions like "Can you see?", "Can you hear me?" etc. I mumble my affirmation when all I wanted to tell him was get on with it. I hate doctors and despise hospitals which is not new if you are an engineering student from Manipal and had to go to KMC for any god damn treatment, only to be tended by students who look at you as some sort of guinea pig. I wasn't going to be this guys experiment. He direts me towards the treatment room and then asks me to get an X-ray done.

02:07 hrs: A lady calls me in and threatens me with a razor. All she wanted was to shave patches off my head so that only the wound is exposed. I kick up a fuss, even threaten to walk out. I love my locks too much and I'd rather die than have them touched, forget chopped. The doc intervened a second time, and told me that he will throw me out which would mean that we will not get a report to file (it was really important that we get a report from these guys to file a case)and my friends cajoled me into getting my tresses cut.

02:10 hrs: I'm all patched up.

02:15 hrs: X-ray of the head (front and side profile) taken.

02:30 hrs: X-ray shown to the doc, who says everything is normal but I'll have to wait for the nuero-surgeon. In the meanwhile, the nurse injects me with a tetanus shot.

02:40 hrs: Nuero-surgeon arrives and the same questions are repeated. I answer all of them and then he tells me that nothing can be said till I get a C.T. scan done, for which I'll have to be admitted. I refused to spend the night in that forsaken place and told them that I'm willing to do it someplace else. They asked me to sign the same mundane shit that they will not be responsible for anything that happens further and I'm on my own. I gladly and readily obliged. Oh yeah! Savio was patched up too and started joking about the fact that I didn't want to get my head shaved. I reminded him that with hair as beautiful as mine, I'd kill anyone before they got close. I thought he saw the seriousness in my face before shutting the fuck up but I looked really scary after being patched up.

02:45 hrs: We are back in the car and travelling back to the spot of the incident. I puke again.

03:00 hrs: Reach Savio's building. Now theres a crowd of 25 odd people. Everyone came one by one to ask how I was doing. The same joke of how I refused to get my hair chopped off was circulating around. Someone offers me a beer, I refuse. A ciggarette is shoved close to my face, I refuse again. Everyone's astonished.

03:30 hrs: We go the cops again with the findings of the govt hospital. He takes a look at it, then looks at me (I'm groggy and sore), then turns to Savio and announces, "This is a half-murder case." That was music to my ears, even though I was never in doubt (EW had a similar case on him - like I said in my previous post, I'm supposed to ask him to write his account on that). Since the guys who beat the shit out of me (I hate saying this as it's deflating to the ego) were hiding, we went to their houses and put their fathers behind bars in order to get their sons out. The cop then advised me to get the C.T. scan done as asked by the docs back at the hospital.

04:00 hrs: Head home with Rydel to inform my folks about the incident and to get some cash for the scan. Mom's worried, paranoid and a few other mixed emotions that are expected in this kind of situation. After reassuring her that it wasn't my fault, I'm not the one who will be put behind bars and that I'm hurt and need a scan to confirm that nothing's wrong with my brain (This part is a little lost to my friends who still tease me about not having anything inside)

04:30 hrs: After roaming most of my area in search of hospitals/clinics that have a C.T Scan facility, we finally came across one that was thankfully open 24/7. Entered the place and demanded that I'd be scanned. The guy was very helpful and put me under the scanner. The doctor arrived and announces a few minutes later that nothing was wrong with the insides but I have a hair line fracture just above my right eyebrow. Some consolation! Anyways we spent an hour there before jumping into the car that was to take us home.

05:30 hrs: While in the car we get a call from the cops telling us that the three guys have surrendered and their dads have been sent home. "Now!" I thought to my self "The fun's gonna start now." We reached the station and Gavin and Rydel literally pounced on those guys. Some cop at the station intervened and threatened to put these guys behind too. That stopped everyone and I could sense the fear in the culprits. In the meanwhile we got news that these guys and their family have bribed some other cop to intervene on their behalf and persuade us to not file any case. But I refused to budge, I wanted to file a case and teach these motherfuckers a lesson. Luckily for us we had the 'pehchaan' of a top cop in Mumbai so the bad cop (the one on their side) didn't have any say in the matter. This was a cue for the father of one of guys to start pleading their case. He tried, moving from one to another, to whoever was willing to listen, begging us to show mercy towards his sons. After some point I couldn't take his ranting and screamed back at him in total bollywoodish style. I asked him to replenish the blood I had lost, Get rid of my hair line fracture then and there, then and only then will I not file a case against the kids. This finally shut the father. The cops finally decided to file a F.I.R. against the trio after much haggling.





that's me all patched up (Concentrate on the bruised parts and not on the double/triple chins. This New Year's resolution is to add exercise in my hectic schedule)




We finally finished by 9 in the morning and I left the rest of the gang to just rest. I dunno when I fell alseep but it seemed quite long marred by gorry images of me dripping blood and getting beaten up all over again for a sillier reason.

The sad part was that I didn't wake to anything better. Arsenal lost to Boro that evening. Crap! It just couldn't get crappier.

I don't even know what to think about now that three weeks have gone by and my scars are turning darker and making me look sexier (ha! I wish!). All I can blame is the karma police. Maybe I did somethng horribly wrong to deserve this kind of treatment. But anyways I'm thankful to the force above that I wasn't crippled for life or paralyzed or anything in between. Also like my mom keeps remiding me, I should listen to them once in a while. If I hadn't taken the bike, I wouldn't have dropped Savio to his place and I wouldn't have got hammered by those guys. 'Ifs' and 'buts' don't matter at the end. I have no remorse regarding that fateful night but I'll make sure that the guys who beat me up will regret their actions for the rest of their lives.



(From l to r) Savio & me celebrating the first week anniversary of the fight at a friends bachelor party at Aksa.

*COPS*

Back by popular demand and the itch to write about something absolutely hair raising that boredom impregnates in an idle brain. I don't know if this post will have that effects on people but what the hell, read this anyways. I said READ!!

The story that I'm about to recount is absolutely fresh in my mind and it's coming to you guys because of a drunken conversation I had with EW a few days back. After a round of drinks and a coupla Js, EW and I got nostalgic about Manipal, how much we missed being in Manipal and how we wished we'd still be in college to live that wild life.

Prelude: This takes place when my parents were absolutley fed up with the type of life-style I was leading and decided to put me up in the Church Hostel. I wasn't enjoying my time in this self proclaimed 're-hab' because a) Miracle Monger was my rommie (it was fun but there were times when we drove each other nuts and the two of us combined and made life hell for the priest incharge) and b) there were no fuckin' western loos to relieve yourself. So if you guys know my habits then this was a major hindrance. Squatting is something that I abhor so I would go to EW's apartment every morning for my morning duties and then head out to college.

Characters: Introducing Minni, weighing in at (max) 100 pounds and standing just around 5 feet tall. (I'm sure most of you are familiar with our friend Minni, the man who knows no fear but is a pussy when faced with life threatning situations.)

In the opposite corner I give you 'Pedro', weighing around 100 pounds again but around 5 feet and 10 inches.
Now, Pedro was our senior (just a year older than us) and any resemblance to a goan is coincidental and not fictitious at all. He walked, talked and drank like a local goan goon and I'm proud to say that he is my role model when it comes to drinking and smoking up at the same time.

Then there was me, who at that time weighed around 120 pounds and stood 5 feet and 11 inches tall. The other extras present during the scene were EW, Leo (Leo is the darkest and laziest man on earth and I can say this without fear 'cos he never reads this blog out of sheer laziness) and Red. Red is this extremely rich undi, undi: colloquial for andhrites back then and even now!) whose car Pedro borrowed and without whom this story might have never taken place.

Pic follows to give you guys a perspective of the names that I'll be dropping and a birds eye view of the place.



So coming back to that night. The water in EW's apartment went missing for two days prior to this incident. Pedro arrived in the evening for a few smokes, drinks and to catch up on old times. Minni and I were extremely hygenic hippies and decided to pack up at EW's after all the bottles were emptied and all the Rs 35/- packs of 'Nitya the great' were smoked, we called it off to the disaapointment of the extras of this story. EW actually wasn't bothered about his state as he has never till date smelt himself. There were reports of mysterious faintings around the neighbourhood. Experts discovered that there was a strange odour but none of it was traced back to EW. Leo as usual was lazy so he didn't want to come to take a bath even though he was feeling like tottenham hotspur fans (just like shit). Pedro offered us a lift in the car and we obliged, then we strated taunting EW and Leo about the benefits of a luxurious hot water bath. All we had to do was drive down around 500 mts but as usual no one would ever dream in their wildest dream what was about to happen next.

Just about 10 mts away from the CH, there was a patrol jeep doing something that they are actually paid for - they were checking for registration of the vehicles that were passing by. Pedro notices this and comes to a screeching halt, which attracts the attention of the three cops scanning the papers of a bike. Pedro looks nervously towards us and lets us know that the car doesn't have any papers. In the stoned stupor we tell him it's alright and crack a small joke, but the weed, booze and the fucked up joke triggred something in Pedro's brain which then sent a strong signal to his leg adn there we were - minni and me - screaming. Unfortunately for us the signal from Pedro's brain was to slam the accelerator of the car. I immideatly started begging Pedro to "Stop!" in all the shrill voices that I had after noticing that the cops jumped into their jeep and started following us. And stop was Pedro did next and asked the two of us to jump out right in front of the CH. I wasn't in the mood of jumping out and neither was Minni. By now the cops were right behind us and the only words that came out of my mouth were "Pedro Rip!". From behind I heard a faint voice, staing the obvious, the quivering voice of Minni saying "We're FUCKED!!"

All I could think of at that moment was 'America's Wildest Police Chases' and I prayed people, yes I, I prayed to all the Gods that I could remember at that moment. I strapped the seat belt on and asked Pedro to do the same but he was not in the mood of listening now, was he? Anyhoo, Pedro navigated the car through the thin and dug up lanes with the aplomb of a F1 driver. We passed through Syndicate Bank - Main Branch, Tiger Circle, raced across LC, Turned towards Press Carts and this where I thought we lost the cops. But then as usual, fate would have it another way. Red hadn't serviced his car for ages and it just refused to pick up on a slope. So there they were my friends, the cops right on our ass. I poked my head out of the window only to see that the cops had now switched their sirens on. Every action has a equal and opposite reaction and the reaction in our camp was to start screaming "Pedro rip! Pedro rip!". Pedro responded to these chants by speeding and speeding till we reached back to where we started from. I joked as we passed Sigma (our local bar which Miracle Monger frequented. They have a bust of him there. No jokes, go checkoit out yourselves. He is prayed to out there for giving them too much business) "Do we need another round of booze?". No one found it funny, I didn't think they would but I crack the most brilliant jokes in the most fucked up of moments where no one finds them funny. I wonder whats wrong with me? Alright without any more deviations and twists, we passed by EW's house once again with sirens blazing. I must admit that usually cops know what they are doing and these guy at the wheel was certainly not a rookie. Oh yeah! we passed by EW's place and then took the turn that led us to RED's place. We jumped straight out of the car and started banging on Red's door. Red seeing the chaos and the cops in tow, switched of all the lights in the house and locked the door from inside thus rendering the keys that Pedro borrowed from him earlier ineffective.

NOw, it so happened my friends that one of the cops got of the jeep and came straight for me (as i was the last one among those struggling to get into the house). He asked in kannada "Who was driving?" I replied back in kannada "Got illa!" ("Dunno!"). I got such a tight slap from,such a hard one, from fuck knows which hand, but my jaws rattled and I got the 'Doordarshan Sound' resonating in my ears. I immediately showed him towards Pedro. He pushed both Minni and me outside where his superior was waiting and began to work on Pedro. The same question was repeated outside and even the right answer was rewarded with a slap. Even the SI went after Pedro, Minni and I were left at the mercy of the third cop with the other two whacking the day lights out of Pedro. The third cop had an extremely tough time getting hold of us as Minni and me were runnig in opposite directions around the car that was parked outside the house. Even when he did get hold of either of us we would jump and evade his kicks and blows. After a frustrating 10 mins of trying to hit us, the cop asked us to sit down and the other two also stopped beating Pedro. All our eyes met at the exact moment and we just couldn't control our laughter. The cops too had mellowed down and joined us, but not before hurling the sweetest and choisest of abuses. They also mentioned in passing that if we would have dragged the chase for 15 agonizing minutes more or even thought about drifiting towards the highway, they wouldn't have hesitated to open fire. Pedro admitted rather sheepishly that the thought did cross his mind but the cars rather empty fuel tank prevented him from taking that measure. Imagine that my homies, I would have been in an orbituary column but escaped with no briuses and scratches to tell the tale only because the car didn't have fuel. Thank God for exhorbitant fuel rates.

Anyway, alls well that ends well is the motto of our lives and this did end well with Pedro paying around a grand for crimes agiainst humanity. Actually we were booked for evading arrest and not having the proper papers in place. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I showed them my ATM card as ID proof which was followed by another round of swearing.

That's all for the day my friends. This story may serve as a lesson for most but the moral that we drew were never to drive a car that hasn't been seviced. On a more serious note, this incident has left me even more paranoid about cops whenever I'm stoned 'cause they are excellent fuckin' drivers so theres no way to escape them. So just face the consequences rather than running away. Alrightie, I'll get back to boredom that some how hasn't killed me as yet. I'll be back with another post on how EW got arrested for attempt to murder in just a while, I promise. Till then PEACE OUT!!

PS: The map that I've drawn is too fuckin small and I'm too lazy to resize it and repost. So just click on it for a larger version. Peace.

BOCK ROTTOM

And no…this is not a bad word! It all began on a certain Friday evening when a couple of friends decide to get out and paint the town red rather than visiting our friendly neighborhood bar. Add a friend’s birthday to this and voila we have a reason to celebrate, which otherwise would still be a celebration but with no defined purpose, not that I’m saying we need a purpose, since either ways purpose or no purpose we still end up bottle worshiping, just that it sounds better when you have an reason to say cheers. So like I was saying, it all started with everyone heading to a friends house to warm up for the party ahead. A few drinks down and causal chat turned into rapid banter and as the number of attendees rose, led to hysterics. Random posing for photos with vague while urging the ladies to groom themselves faster kept the boys busy. The night’s destination was Rock Bottom, a suburban discotheque, also instinctively christened Bock Rottom by a certain enthusiastic Parsi friend of ours. Personally, I prefer the latter with extra emphasis on the double t’s. Once there, it took us a while to get grooving. Fat old son once again took initiative in the field he has the most expertise…..directing people to the bar! A couple of beers down, and our bodies began to sway gracefully to the music, once again lead by Fat old Son, who took to the floor faster than a man to a naked woman. To say a word about the music….hmmmmm….it sucked! Don’t these Dj’s ever listen to the music themselves before subjecting us to it? One look at them on their pedestals doing the not-so-cool hip hop moves makes you want to fling something hard at them. However we didn’t let their lack of talent dampen our spirits and we shook and boogied the night away. As the night turned into a very late night, it brought an end to an enjoyable evening, and a start to the constant stress of being caught by cops for drunken driving, or worse by our moms!




A natural poser, isnt he??



K...not so natural now..!!!



Hmmmm...what was i thinking while posing for this?????



Shiny happy...drunk people..



Fat old son.. wondering why the hell am i subjecting them to this torture..!!!!

Some Pics from Me Phone: Goa Trip

These are the pics of my Goa trip in July (I guess). I rate this trip as one of my best simply because it wasn't season so everything was cheap, the beaches were empty and plus Minni was sponsoring. I was also a slaried man now, so I had the license to spend. Goa had just been hit by torrential rains, the repercussions of which were felt the next day.

As usual it started off when I heard myself say, "I don't believe I'm doing this!" Minni and Hem called me on a Thursday evening asking me for an account number to deposit money so that I can leave the next day. I emotionaly blackmailed Leo-our absconding-when-in-mumbai friend to join me on this weekend escapade convincing him that Minni is sponsoring the trip. So I get up on Thursday morning, pack my bags, wish my folks good bye, call my office to report in sick and have a conference call with the people in manipal and Leo to decide if we should take the bus or the train to reach Panjim. At the end of the protracted discussion, Leo and me had already reached Kurla and found ourselves parked in the AC compartment of the train (A first for me while going to Goa, I must admit).

Somewhere in the Konkan


Crossing at Kolad


A view of Kolad Station
(This was strange 'coz a month later I found myself chilling at an adventure camp with my sooper coool colleagues somewhere close by. Coincidence? Super-intelligent-intuitive-woman-colleague does think so)



At 1 that morning we arrived at Madgaon and found the rest of the gang chillin near the tea stall on the 1st platform. And after some futile bargaining, we hailed two cabs (All of us - a total of 9 people wanted to enter one vehicle) for Anjuna, our favorite hunting ground. Goa had been subjected to incessant rain and strong winds. I was happily recounting EW's and my experiences in Mumbai to the driver as nobody else cared to listen. We knocked on Mary's Guest House at around 4 in the morning and went straight to our rooms. Smokes and chillums followed till around 6 and we left the shelter of our rooms in search of some tea. But Goa being Goa, we didn't find any tea and ended up drinking beer instead. At around 9 we scored and the madness began.

Mary's in the morning
(Each of us is wondering what to do next as the rains had stopped for some time)



Beer at 6:30 in the morning
(If you look closely, Leo is indicating 6, Hem has 3 marked out and Minni is displaying 0)


Mary's from the outside
(I'm sure Mary's guest house is famous with MITians)


Anjuna as seen from Hanuman Shack


From l to r: Vani, Farah & Mimi(Strange name & strange woman)


Leo in Sepia
(I wish I knew how to rotate this using code: Oye! flash guy come here! It's good to be king. Oh even he doesn't know)


Our trip took us here, there and everywhere around Anjuna and after having our fill, we left for Baga. My trip ended when I saw the rough seas and rougher pot bellied men of all Indian colours patrolling the beaches. We spent some time at Souzas where we realized that Minni had run out of money and my salary for the month had not yet come. We called up each and every Tom Dick and Harry we knew to start deposioting money and some people did help. Some people were wondering how we can spend all our money and some simply screamed and hung up. Wow! But everything happens for the best and my sal came in by 7, so to celebrate, we made Hem take a pilot back to Anjuna to reinstate our supplies. Sending Hem was a pert of my plan to convince Leo to travel to Manipal from there. At around 8 in the evening Hem was found happily smiling, with a king's in one hand and a strip of my fav: N's in the other plus a assortment of other things totally banned by law. No more convincing was required for me. I spoke to Leo in my sweetest toungue and at the heights of the N trip. It took some time but Leo relented in the end. I heard myself say once again, "I don't believe I'm doing this!" and ended up catching the night train to Manipal.

I woke up to vociferous cries of "Chut! u were supposed to wake us up." Hem was almost at blows with Jabs (Who looked just as sleepy as me. And there is no mention of him earlier because somehow he was not part of our group at all and he conned me, yes me, off monies. I do not forget nor forgive such guys. So did Mimmi but I'm sure the amount of Special K she does will get her anyways. So I leave her to Satan). Yeah! we did end up at M'lore and then caught a bus to reach Manipal in time as the girls had their classes at 8 in the morn. This was Saturday I guess. Forgive my lack of sense of time. We did manage to make it and when we reached our rooms, the news reader was mentioning something about floods, landslides between Goa and Manglore. We know why we reached Manglore but how was the biggest mystery. Anyways here we were stuck in 'Home Sweet Home'. Popped a blotter in the morning, then another one at night and left by flight on Sunday, absolutely clueless about how I reached Mumbai (I was carrying a tola in my wallet which was screened twice because I was carrying 3 bottles from Goa. Freakishly insane experience I tell you, sweaty palms et al.) But the trip was worth every freakin' penny.

So if you ever hear yourself say "I don't believe I'm doing this!" don't worry and just chill. Everythings gonna be alright...just get up stand up...alright gotta go...

Hmm...something more to add!

Oh shoot! (That's how the IT guy at my office says oh shit! He has substitutes for fuck but that later) I forgot to mention how my bike managed to convert GG to pick up a swanky new ThunderBird. He is not the only one and I'm hoping to convert more people than the missionaries manage out in the jungles of India...Oopsie! But you can read his experience here. Picked her from the dealer on Saturday and I tok her out for a small spin as GG hadn't carried his helmet or his lisence. And yes! we did drink to our hearts content to celebrate the occasion. Elegantly Wasted was wasted and missing in action for some reason that I cannot comprehend. But this is all I wanted to add. Pics will follow as soon as the bike is registered with the transporting authorities.

Cya guys later.