India nailed it! Gooners are not doing badly either!

Wow! There are ways to watch a match and sitting in a crowded bar with a lot of crazy drunks screaming away is not one of them. Unfortunately GG and I were stuck for most of Pakistan's innings at Harmeet, our regular and local bar with crazy town. Yes I'm talking bout the match that saw India lift the T20 WC. T20 huh! Well I think I'll be killed by own family first, then my friends and then those crazy drunk guys if I say that I'm still in doubt if I should be proud of the fact that India did manage to lift another World Cup after 24 years. So what if it was in a crap but exciting form of the game. Oxymoron! cries out my evil twin. She is just learning grammar but thats beside the point. India did win something and salvage some pride in the cricketing world after years of shouldering the tag of under-achievers.

This form of the game is terribly exciting, gets over extremely fast (3 and half hours I guess) but is harsh on the bowlers. I sympathize with them because I too used to be a slow-medium-fast pace bowler who has got hammered all over the place. I got so hammered, so hammered that the booze after the games had no effect on me. But give me a test match over any other form of the game. I'll savour a test match anyday because a test match is a test match. It's a test of character, adaptibility, fitness and mental strength of a cricketer. Also you can flip channel after channel, sip beer after beer and the score won't change. Gives me a feeling that time has stopped. Guess thats one reason why I love test matched. Alas! the one day format killed the test match and T20 might just kill the one day format.

Anyways I'll be kiddin myself if I state that I didn't enjoy watching India trash (even though it was a close fought contest, I want to use 'trash' as the opponents were our freindly neighbours) Pakistan. When India beat Australia, Dhoni was asked by Ravi Shastri "So India-Pakistan final. How do you feel about this?" If I were MSD, I would have answered "G***d marenge s****n ki!" but we got to be politically correct in this age of political correctness and non violence. We also need to be friendly towards our over friendly neighbour. But alls well that ends well and I sure that's what the entire nation feels at the moment. I was indeed overjoyed and did a little jig in the aisle but quickly backed off to avoid the crazy drunk guy no. 1's hugging spree. Then there were others who asked the sardar who owned the bar to join in their little dance but the sardar shyed away like a newly wed bride. I wonder where his mind was at. Was he worried that GG and I would slip out without paying in all that chaos that was engulfing him? I know not. But good for the team who got a lot richer thanks to the $2 mn dollars donation for winning and congrats to Yuvi for the additional cash for hitting 6 sixes in an over. He was the pick of the players I guess and deserved the man of the tournament for his heroic displays.

Enough of cricket. Let's talk about the beautiful game for some time because and only beacuse there is this team that is sitting pretty on top of the Barclays Premier League. No prizes for guessing, that's the team I support and its good to see that becasue its been a while since this feat was achieved by the mighty Gooners. We as a club had come in for bit of slack by other fans and our own for not investing, for selling of titi among other things and now there is boardroom turmoil to consider too. But its great that the players are not affected and they are playing ferarless, free flowing and the most attractive football on the planet. Hats off to le proffeseur for turning it around and proving his detractors totally and positively wrong. Well if the team keeps this going then who knows will have a lot to cheer this season.

Cheers!

Yeah this blog actively supports the misdoings of one Arsenal FC. We also support FC. Barcelona and AC Milan but they are crap compared to the gooners! Go Reds! Cheers once again. Till we get drunk again or till India lifts another WC. I'm sure my getting drunk will happen earlier!

Love from all at S.C.O.F.F.!

All Apologies

What else should I be
All apologies
What else could I say
Everyone is gay
What else could I write
I don't have the right
What else should I be
All Apologies

Yeah! that's what I'm right now...All Apologies to my dear friend Elegantly Wasted. I have been calling him Elegantly Stoned for no apparent reason at all. Stoned. wasted, what's the fuckin' difference man. They two different words to express a certain fuckin' state of mind man. Why am I talking like Leo from That 70's Show? You tell me man.

Update time: Where do i start. We had my firm's 4th Anniversary Party on Monday. Yes! it was excellent. I opened the bar and stayed on till there was not a drop to drink. I chased women around trying to capture them on my cam using all angles as possible and the best part is that they still talk to me like nothing happened. God blesss them! I love them girls here for exactly that. By the end of everything, I was in no state to ride the bike home and have no recollection of how I got home in the first place.

What else...let's see...Yes! I have begun yet another attempt at giving up nicotine and am fairly successful till now. Only screw up is that I'm hooked on to these herbal thingies called 'Nirdosh'. Farcical & Ironic. But that's life I guess. How long am I going to live anyways.

Well there's another get together tonite too. Phil's back from Oz land and has got a bottle of J&B for us to finish first and then get back to some Indian Malt. Elegantly Wasted (That's your name right?) unfortunately can't make it today due to family committments. My evil twin is extremely thrilled because of that.

So until we get stoned and wasted with some elegance, you guys enjoy the choisest of photos. Caio!

The Super Chilled Out Group


Another One of the Super Chilled Out Group


Just for the sake of it

Amchi Mati....Amchi Manus

Let me begin with a GENTLE REMINDER to Fat Old Son. "Brother, its Elegantly Wasted not Elegantly Stoned......not that I can't be called Elegantly Stoned... but lets be subtle here shall we".

So let me see, the past couple of months have been quite eventfull for the two sole herga survivors here in bombay, possibly the best time we've had ever since we've passed out of Manipal. Two tattoos, a bike, a trip to Kolad, and most importantly sharing the same desk at a workplace. Aaaah....blissful times are so welcome. A month of working in Learning Mate saw us through schedule that went like this.

Officially enter at 10.30 am.........Unofficially at whatever time u feel like.
A smoke break at 10.35 am that can go on for as long at 11.15.
Work for 15 min...or at least pretend to.
Chat with friends ...colleagues or even urself for as long as 30 min.
Another smoke break for 30 min.
Lunch break for 1 hour.
Smoke break again for 15 min.
Chat for 20 min.
Work for 5 min.
Smoke break again 15 min.
Have a meeting for 30 min to discuss when should the next meeting be called to tackle the issue to be dealt with in this meeting.
Have another meeting where the group head tells us how the other departments feel that our group has an attitude issue to which all of us have the same reply........GAAND MARRA!!!
Smoke break again for 20 min.
Discuss important issues like what are we going to do when all the continents join together.
Work 5 min.
Display immense will power when colleage brings up the topic of going to drink.
Reject collegues request to drink again.
Colleague goes home.
We go to drink.

Now can anyone blame us when we say we are TIRED at the end of the day.

It goes without saying that I miss those days, as this is the first time in my life i have ever made good friends this fast. Of course the credit does go to Fat Old Son for the endless briefings given. Nevertheless, he is still there and I dont think i will be forgotten this soon as a part of me still lingers there.

Tattos were quite a welcome change in our mundane lives, which promoted us from the label "Useless" to "Useless but Cool". A hearty thanks to our tattoo artist and very good friend who really did a fabulous job. Now all that needs to be done is someone has to invent backless shirts for us to show it off.

And as the famous saying goes "Alls well that ends well". Those days, im sure are beautifully etched and at times I still feel the taste in my mouth. I really dont know how many people read this blog as we have been on the number 725 for a reallllly long time. If nothing else, the blog seems to be yet another mode of communication for Fat Old Son with boobs and myself to tell each other stories that we already know. Now isn't that fun! So till the next time its Kudos from me.....Over to you Fat Old Son.

It's the usual

I have no clue why I'm dying to share stuff with people I can't see but I guess I'm just lonely and cold. Lonely because a lot of absentees at work and cold because the security just refuses to reduce the aircon blast that is constantly flowing over my afro.

One of the absentees is Elegantly Stoned. His love affair with my company is over and done with and he left seeking greener pasturs. Sniff! I'm sad. But it's good for him. All my weird dreams of drowning my company & the senior executives in a marshland full of poop have been shattered to a point where I can't dream these kinda dreams ever!

Like one of ES's famous lines that state the fuckin' obvious "It was great while it lasted!". It indeed was. He was accepted straightaway into the funky bunch. And they didn't know what they were in for when he was invite to join us for a trip to Kolad. Oh! I forgot to mention the 'Kolad' trip in the previous posts. It's an adventure camp run by an ex-serviceman who decided enough was enough and set up an adventure camp 140 kms away from Mumbai. So ES and me go absoultely balistic out there. Start drinkin in the car itself at 6 in the morning and finished 2 more bottles by the end of the day. The j's were flowing from 'The AJ factory of Rollin'. The rest is history. Extremely vague but history. We left a lot of people from the gang awe-struck espesially this girl who thought she was in tune with an addicts mind, she thought she can read people like us and predict our very next move but its was all 'ha ha' on her. What fun! The pics from this camp are on display on flikr.com. Get in touch with me to become my contact if anyone wants to see them. I'm called dazed n' confused there. Please! Please be my contact. I'm beggin' you guys.

Alright that's enough. I have just managed to tarnish my self respect again. So I'll get back to being myself. This is a meaningless post but not a meaningless blog. I guess it's time to get the herga girls to spice things up here. "What next?" asks my evil twin that resides somewhere between my conscience and my brains, "Paint it pink? share recipies? baby pics? mother-in-law stories? I can go on" Alright! Alright! My apologies to my fellow members and my evil twin, I shall not do any of that sort. This idea will be erased permanently from my head.

So why am I writing this anyways? Yeah! now I get it. I just wanted to inform our readers that ES has got his tattoo touched up recently and I'll be getting mine finshed on Saturday. I'm putting up the Before and After Pics. More like the Before pics for now. Havn't really got a pic of his 'After'.

ES Before



You guys have already seen mine I'm sure. Once again just a reminder I'll publish more pics later. So, until I get cold or lonely or feel like communicating with the world again. You guys have a good time! See ya!

Personal DNA Test

Yes, its true. The man has finally got his machine. It's an oppulent silver colored Bullet Electra, in an impeccable condition. It goes without saying; it is a joyous occasion for all the S.C.O.F.F members and fanfare (please tell me we have some).


It was a Sunday morning and over coffee, Fat Old Son unveils his mega scheme of how he got about buying his bike. It's then when i come to know that he hasnt informed his parents (not surprised!), hasnt consulted anyone (not surprised!) and is going to take a loan for the same (Aah! Not surprised at all!). The nigger has outdone himself this time–yet again. However, for now we shall just concentrate on the thunderous machine rather than judge his sanity and ability to go bungee jumping without the rope. Well thats Fat Old Son for you.


However the bike's a beauty, and I say this after testing it myself. Once we were done with accessory shopping it was time for a fitting celebration. We headed to Poptates downed a few funky tequillas and beers whilst throwing occasional, affectionate glances at the bike parked across the street. As the evening commenced, the feeling of another member in the family was now slowly beginning to sink in. Talks of long journeys exploring the farthest depths of earth, had already begun. With the setting sun, we concluded our session, not coz the sun was setting, but coz if we drank anymore Fat Old Son would have to pawn the bullet to pay the bill...and i wouldnt be surprised if he had done that too. Thus came an end to a day where the prophecy of the coming of the bike finally came true. Halleluiah!

SWEN!! !!NEWS

July has been very eventful for members of S.C.O.F.F. ezpecially the last week or so. First of all I'd like to inform our readers that starting from the 1st of August, Eleganlty Stoned and I will be working in the same firm. Yeah, I know this spells DOOM for the firm but what the hell, our friendship has done worse things for others. It's the begining of a new end (for the firm that is).

In other news, two of our friends from the glory days are a step closer to being bound in holy matrimony. S.C.O.F.F. wishes them all the very best and an extremely successful life ahead.

Incase you guys didn't know this as yet, then I'll confirm it once again. Miracle Monger is a cunt, the biggest prick on the face of the earth. He has been in Dubai for a freakin' long time now and he still hasn't bothered getting in touch. Talk about good friends. I sent him a gentle reminder and then a mail in a ALL CAPS, venting my frustration but to no avail. Anyways he is in for the good ol' ass kickin that we are infamous for.

And last but not the least, I bought myself a Royal Enfeld. The babes a 2002 model, Electra 4s. I also got a tattoo to comemrate the occasion and also because I've always wanted one. Pics follow, but first few testimonials on the bike.

Elegantly Stoned: "She's kick ass. Raw Power. Let's call her 'baby'."

(Yeah, now she is known as baby. But please feel free to let me know what I should call her)

Rajiv, a colleague of mine has these words to say, "Yessir! We teased her on our way home last night. You know what happens when you tease 350cc of raw power. All that power welled up in her and was crying to be expended. So we did just that. Pushed the throttle almost halfway to the firewall. Now, that is saying a lot. And then there were those thank you ma’ams (any number of them actually), which for the most part AJ negotiated with the prowess of a hell’s angel. Those flaming potholes! (Some of them big enough to craters!). Owww!!! Man! I thought I dropped a bullock because I went numb in that region for sometime."

(Phew! that was really long. Know I know why people hire assistants.)

Phil: "It’s a mean machine…"

The rest of the gang was simply speechless. Ha ha..I have that effects on people. Also I hope I proved all those doubters back in college wrong. Well thats a different, here are the first few pics shot on Shanz cam:

That's me on Baby

Like I said, she's an Electra 4s

And yeah, this is the tattoo I got on Saturday!

Let me know what you guys think! and incase anyone wants a custom made tattoo please do let me know. The dude, called Savio, is a real talent!

Chalo more later. Things are definately looking bright as Elegantly Stoned will be joining me in screwing up work tomorrow. Bye for now!

Latest on the lizard king

for seven years,

i dwelt in the loose palace of exile

playing strange games with the girls of the island

now, i have come againto the land of the fair, and the strong, and the wise

brothers and sisters of the pale forest

children of night

who among you will run with the hunt?

now night arives with her purple legion

Retire now to your tents and to your dreams

Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth

I want to be ready'

These are the words I found myself humming as I woke up in the morning. After the usual early morning duties, I watched the news flash across the TV: A new theory as to how Jim died. Now theres this Paris nightclub manager who says that Jim died actually of an herion overdose and not of an alcohol induced heart attack. The strange part is that when he died, there was no autopsy conducted and there was no fanfare involved in his burial. Whats stranger is that, in whatever little information I have read, is that Jim wasn't a huge fan of herion, nor did he like Pam doing it. But what the hell, he died. He's dead now. And that's the saddest part. So why don't we just let him and his stories rest in peace. No one's bothered now, least of all me. I'm glad that he graced us with his presence and showed us a diferent way. But knowing the kinda guy Jim must have been theres never going to be 'the end'. The end of all the speculation. I'm not sure if he'd want that. So lets have a good time. He's no more, his voice, thoughts, and poetry still linger on.

Because the Lizard told me to….

Let’s go to the moon, honey
Let’s go on a ride
Let’s then make the horses stop and
Walk in the starry sky.

Let me play the fool.
Show you how to fly.
You try to tell me something funny,
I’ll try and make you cry.

Let’s now chain the visionary.
Let’s lock him in a sty.
Let him see there is no way out,
Until he learns to lie.

Let’s listen to the raindrops.
Pitter patter on the window.
I was to be the next big thing
But I missed my own first show.

Let’s dance to the blaring silence.
Let’s get into the groove.
Let’s then play a melody,
And let nobody move.

Let’s go to the moon, sugar
Let’s go for a drive.
Let’s stop to taste the sunshine,
For a little while.

You don’t look so fine now lady
You don’t look so bright.
Climb onto the spinning wheel,
That should soothe your mind.

Let me make you love me.
Let me make you mine.
You can now confide in me.
Then hear me say goodbye.

Let’s all go our separate ways now.
Let’s get off this high.
Listen to what the lizard’s sayingLet’s lay down and die.

Miracle Monger's tribute to the real Lizard King. I can be accused of not uploading a few of his poems. Now I'm making up for it. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Who reads this blog anyways! It's dead most of the time

Willy Got Married! The week that was!

Yeah! Willy got married…I’m sure that’s news…but anyways we had a teeny weeny bachelors party on Thursday, 1st Feb…it was a great party-cum-reunion if u come to think of it…K-lo, Sannu, Baba (it was at his place- a spare flat that he has), doggy, herman n me...and yeah not forgettin wily's B-I-L were the ones who were there at the start….we were joined by Gokhale, Amar Reddy(ex-MITian, now professor cum designer of a Boeing/Airbus wing...this part is unconfirmed news, knowing undis and their ability to brag), kiss-a-whore (I just love the name that I gave him back in the hostel…I’m sure he loathes me for that…and its Kishore for people who don't know) and a friend of gokhale's called abhishek…then we invited Kela and Funky Naren to join us…Funky got along a good quantity of tukdi's…we also tried calling a host of other people but they conviniently ignored our pleas to join in...ohh…I forgot to mention vivian’s dad...no BF...no, no, uncle was there too…alright! he actually is her BF but what the hell...they do look like father and daughter when they are together (and this is not my view point it is a generalized notion) and to my delight Gands was to come later on…his flight delayed by 2 - 4 hours...i curse these low budget-freak show airliners that have sprung up thanks to the provisions made by the aviation industry...not the best things to happen even though they are an inexpensive option.
The evening started of well…Vat 69, Teachers and then a Blednder’s pide were being gulped by the minute...it was like none of us had seen booze for a long time...another thing was that it was a free-for-all...everybody was trying to make sure they get their fill, get high, sloshed etc before it gets over. In the mean time K-lo(who seems to have given up on booze and ciggies…basically looks like he has given up on life), Sannu & Clement decided to take my sardonic remarks that there were no strippers seriously and they disappeared for about 2 hours only to reappear with 3 hookers in tow…but there was a major fuck up here...they were the ugliest women anyone could lay their eyes on…I mean, if I ever was to fulfill my cross dressing fantasies, i'd look a thousand times better...anyways there they were dancing away while Herman was cheerfully egging them on…so were kiss-a-whore and reddy…even though they’ve had their fill in the states….they cudn keep their eyes off these women…mayb they don’t make them women so good lookin in undi-land…willy shook and grooved with the whores to the tunes of some shitty hindi music (sub standard songs if u ask me…Himesh et al...but then I’m sure no one would want to dance for floyd or doors there…)Baba in all this commotion was more paranoid than psyched….i guess this was because of the fact that it was his house that we were in…after an hour o so we bid good bye to the whores…doggy frantically chasing them away while clicking snaps of them leaving (he wanted some proof to show Vivian…just incase she changed her mind after seeing the photos) oh yeah! I forgot to mention that doggy got pissed at me at the start of the night and was almost in tears…because from all the people assembled there I was only picking on him…blabering shit according to him…but I couldn't help it man…knowing how excited I get seeing him, knowing how much joy I get in fucking his happiness…and after the booze goes down is even harder to keep quiet…but then the pariah showed his true colors after a couple of drinks and returned to his normal self...which was much better 'coz I couldn't see tears in his eyes...sob...I'm getting sensitive with age...sob!! Gands finally arrived with much fan fare and without ado we broke open the last of the Vat 69...which people had hidden from me (& the rest)...finally...yeah finally after many j's and a bladder that was about to burst, around 4 in the morning we said our farewells and I left for home.
I wasn't with these people for the roce and the wedding as I was the best man for my cousins wedding that was held on the same day as willy’s…herman will give u more details incase he does bother writing…anyways from the details that he gave me…the MC (a.k.a King Edward…yeah that’s what he called himself) called the gang of 15 or so present single and lonely guys…Yes! he called my friends single and lonely guys...ahh! what on earth made him call them that??? Actually it was an apt title when you don’t want any of the women there to give our desperate friends a second glance…I thank my stars I wasn't around...anyways…also according to herman…we proved that we are better hooligans than English football fans because they gave Sannu birthday bumps infront of all gathered while chanting Mighty Mighty MIT (For those who came in late: Mighty Mighty MIT is the college chant that was used at every game that MIT played, everytime we got drunk and needed to show our roots and/or everytime we met a KMCite)…man what sorry losers…Loo was the surprise package at the marriage...he came all the way from dubai just for the occasion and was invited to open the champagne…for which baba accompanied...fuck knows why but I too haven't figured out what goes on in that humungous head of his.
The next day(Sunday) was more fun as I went to baba's place to meet gands...i was joined by loo and doggy and was served beer by dom’s ever generous dad…I actually wanted to finish off the left over Vat but who's complaining...I wonder if he is still open to adopting us…anyways while we were there loo spilled the beans and gave us the first hand account of how *ahem* acted like a $&#*^…creating a huge ‘darrar’ between him…his girl of that time..and willy…man that was a gripping story…I immideatly erased it from my memory and started making fun of doggy...who thankfully had no tears in his eyes this time...man! some dogs mature really fast...we ended the evening on a good note…wishin willy a good and happy married life…it was a good start for him…not so good for his wife I'm sure...'coz willy was watchin the Australia-New Zealand match in the morning…I wonder if he even....oh! fuck it...anyways till one of us writes again...